Dead Man Walking
by 46captain46
Summary: As he walks towards his end, gun in hand, blade ready, he opens his mind to the memories, the only thing he has left now. End!Verse fic, just because I was in the mood for one. Slash! Destiel, just so we are clear.


Sooo, I love end!verse fics and I wanted to write one or two sometime, and inspiration kinda hit me. Sorry, not sorry.

Also, I would like to say a huge thank you to my beta ForeverShippingJohnlock, and my dear friend MyLovelyMarauder for being there for me and always supporting me!

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything…let's face it….if I did, Destiel would already be canon.

As he walks towards his end, gun in hand, blade ready, he opens his mind to the memories, the only thing he has left now. He remembers Mary, how she used to put him to bed, with a loving kiss and a hopeful phrase: "Angels are watching over you." He remembers first holding little Sammy, watching him grow to be a wonderful man, with morals, full of love and kindness and hope. Things that are lost now. He remembers John, even drunk and completely devoted to his work, Dean knew John loved his boys more than anything else. He remembers Cas as he was before all this happened, before he fell, before, when they had a mission to stop the apocalypse. Before, when they both still had a purpose.

He hears their screams. Castiel is the last to fall, and as he does he turns his head, facing Dean, and even with his last breaths and the remaining light in his eyes, he gives him hope. Hope no dying man should be able to give.

And Dean lets himself believe that he will put an end to all this. That everything he lost wasn't just worthless sacrifice. And he charges at Lucifer. He charges at his _brother_ , but Sam hasn't been Sam for a very long time. Maybe for as long as he has stopped being Dean Winchester.

They fight. He knows he isn't getting out of this one. But he had promised himself that when he did go down, he damn well wouldn't go without a fight. His younger self is somewhere in the alley. He tries to give him courage, the way Cas did all those years, and he repaid him with blood, pain and an empty heaven. He needs this courage, his young version needs it more. He still has hope, he still has a soul. Although it's battered and bruised, almost skinned alive, he has. But the Dean that falls into the ground in front of Lucifer, the Dean that has a pair of blue eyes imprinted in his mind before darkness consumes him whole, that Dean, had lost his soul the day he finally noticed that Castiel's eyes were no longer the spectacular color that once shone brightly. When he noticed their color had turned into a dull blue, nothing compared to the way they were. Cold as they have now become, guarded, and almost dead.

Dean feels his soul leaving his body, slowly and steadily.

Cas screams.

He hadn't screamed when they had caught him, he hadn't screamed when they gutted him alive, he hadn't screamed when he was left bleeding on the ground, he hadn't screamed when he felt the end. But he does now. With his dying breaths, Dean's name – his love's name – escapes his bloodied lips. And Castiel, the once angel of the Lord, screams for the only person he has left, the only person that matters.

* * *

Heaven isn't at all the way he thought it would be. He believed, or maybe the best word is hoped, he would feel lighter, and all the guilt would be magically gone. Yeah, wishful thinking... Dean was always known for many things, but "guilty for his actions" was the description that topped all others. Even after he became even more closed-off and cold, he still felt, and the only one able to tell was the one that always could.

This heaven doesn't feel like Heaven. He is alone here, with not even a single soul to help him adjust. Bobby isn't here, Sam isn't here, Jo, Ash and Ellen aren't here. Mary, John are nowhere to be seen. And the one he misses the most is probably trapped on earth, with no way of getting out. His angel isn't here with him and he doesn't think he can spend an eternity without the one that matters the most. His only friend now is the void, his only company the silence.

He walks and walks, trying to find a piece of his former life. He finds none. He doesn't like this place. In fact he hates it. He doesn't even know why he ended up in Heaven. He knows Hell is where he should be. Where he _deserves_ to be. He has done so many horrible things... Sure, maybe at first he _did_ want to save people, but as time went by, and the world got even darker, and hope stopped existing in their vocabulary, his intentions and maybe himself got lost along the way.

Eventually he stops. There's no use anyway. He turns his head, watching as people below continue with their lives. Not knowing what he has done, all the mistakes and sacrifices. Not knowing, never learning.

Now he looks up, straight to the beautiful sun as it leaves an orange glow, painting the sky in the magnificent color. It symbolizes the end of the day, and he is afraid as the darkness takes over, he will be left forgotten. A sinner amongst angels. And his angel amongst sinners. He watches as the last streams of sun fade and the blue of the moonlight takes the sun's place in the sky.

He feels a little lightheaded, and images are being erased from his mind, like an invisible hand holds them and gently drives them away. He doesn't really mind. They are memories that he wants to forget. They are the times when everything went wrong. So he doesn't give any resistance, he doesn't try to keep them. Some things he wants to forget…

And as he feels his memories being wiped, forgetting how Castiel came to be the empty shell he was, forgetting the mission he had devoted his life to, forgetting Lucifer and the apocalypse and the Croatoans, forgetting the world he swore to protect, he smiles. Dean Winchester smiles. The first and last true smile after a very long time.

He feels hands snake around his waist, but he doesn't turn around. He knows. He would know his angel anywhere. He has him now, as he rests his back against him, letting him hold him, Dean is finally happy.

He smiles as he stops existing all together, in the arms of the one he loves. And the smile stays intact as he lets out words whispered, directed at the body beside him. But himself too, as his hope is finally restored.

And the smile never fades, as his last thought, his last shout to the world is the only reminder of him.

 _He made it. He changed the future._

Sooooo, that's it guys! Hope you like it! Reviews are always appreciated.

Byeeee,

46captain46


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